Yesterday morning I dragged him out of the house at 9am with Jodnise and Jodline in hand and headed down to Wharf Jermaie to visit their 18 year old mother who had just given birth to a baby boy (my Godson). Just driving down to Wharf the questions came flying. "How do those woman carry everything on their heads? How do people get clean drinking water? How do people live like this? I knew Haiti was poor.. but I figured it was like the other islands I've visited like the DR or the Bahama's where there is just certain sections that are bad.. but this..it's all bad.. it's always right in front of you.. how do you do it?" We arrived in Wharf Jeramie and I brought him to the clinic that I had first volunteered at. Explained to him how things worked there. This is where we waited for the twins mom to arrive. As we waited we were approached by many others. I would talk and laugh and joke around with them. Dad just stared and walked around taking in the surroundings. While we were gone the other volunteers remained at Ke Kontan and cleaned up our yard and finished building book shelves (they had built me a change table the day before). When we arrived back at the house we loaded up the car (yes 9 people in one small SUV) and headed to Montrouis. When we first arrived we went to visit our old orphanage which is still the exact same way as we left it. No furniture, no running water, no working toilet sink or shower, no proper beds, nothing in the kitchen. It amazes me going back there and seeing how little we had and how we were able to live like that. I laugh and think of how at the time we just didn't know any better. We were used to it. We didn't need much, just the essentials to survive. I miss the beach and the mountains and the small village atmosphere. But I am still glad we made the move as life has become a lot more easier as we have better access to clean water, food, and we are closer to hospitals. Tiny and his family were at the house and after Pedson climbed up the palm tree to get us coconuts we headed to Tiny's old house. We piled 5 of us (Pedson, Petile, Tiny, Chaba, & myself) onto a moto and the rest of the volunteers followed behind in the car. When we arrived at the top of the mountain I was greeted by smiling, naked, and dirty children calling out my name. These children seriously have nothing, little clothes and no toys- but yet are so happy and loving. My friend Lucho met us at the house to take measurements and to make a plan for rebuilding the house. We visited with the family, danced with the kids, and then ran up and down the mountain side. I came across a mother who was holding a little girl- Lilian 2 years old- she was completely naked and covered in dirt literally from head to toe (she even had dirt in her mouth). I noticed how malnourished she is and that her brother & her were completely full of worms. The mom begged me to take the baby girl as she said she is scared because she is so small and always sick. She walked me down to their house which was made of mud and small sticks. The house is the size of my bathroom back at Ke Kontan. There was one small bed and one pot. That was it. I played peek-a-boo and chased Lilian all around the mountainside as she was laughing and growling at me. She can't talk much but can say Wi and Non. She was scared of me at first- but after a few times of tossing her up into the air she wouldn't leave my side. I agreed to take her back to Port Au Prince to take her to a hospital here and have her checked out and to see if we can get her on a nutrition plan. We jumped in the car and headed back to PAP as she slept the entire way in my arms. When we arrived at the house you could tell she was terrified- most likely never seeing lights or electronics let alone everything else in the house. We bathed her- the water was completely black after- she even had dirt packed into her ears. Her mom had pierced her ears (God knows with what) and left string in them so the holes wouldn't close. After we bathed her I dug through our suitcases of clothes and found a pair of PJ's for her. Before bed I had her dancing to Justin Bieber, eating bananas, and she found 2 new babies that NO ONE is now allowed to touch (stuffed bear and monkey). She slept through the night cuddled up beside me- her foot and hand had to be touching me at all times. It breaks my heart to see children such as Lilian. But it warms my heart knowing that I can help her- even if that is just by giving her a safe and clean place to stay temporarily and filling her belly for a few weeks. It brings me such happiness seeing her laugh and play and love her new toys. And this morning she definitely won me over by imitating everything I was doing- she watched me get dressed- she attempted dressing herself- she watched me brush my teeth and the whole time she was mumbling- finally took the hint that she wanted to brush her teeth too... so I ran to the storage closet and grabbed her a little pink tooth brush- she stood by my side and began brushing. When I stopped she stopped. When I spit she spit (although her spit went all over the bathroom). When I was finished I put my tooth brush in the cup, and of course when I looked over, hers was next to mine.
The best part about all of this, was last night. After I had tucked Lilian into bed and before Dad and I went to bed, I asked him what he thought of all this, and that I wanted his honest opinion. He said he is just astonished, he didn't realize how many people we were helping, how many kids we were caring for. He told me he is so proud of me and supports what I am doing 100%. He told me that before, he wasn't really supportive because he didn't really know what I was doing here, he thought it was just a phase I was going through. He expressed how amazing he thinks my kids are and that he just doesn't understand how I'm doing it as he had a difficult enough time just raising my brother and I. He had no idea of the mass amount of people living in poverty and the kids that are walking around without shoes and who are not attending school. I absolutely love having my Dad here. He has helped around the house, loves holding the babies- him and Tyson have become pals, he feeds them, plays with them, and most of all.. he's getting to see what my new life consists of and he's actually taking the time to understand it. I have never felt so happy before just watching him wake up at the crack of dawn to open the gate for the tent city boys and to start a game of soccer with them while everyone is still in bed. I hands down could not ask for a better father. I am dreading tomorrow evening when he will be leaving Haiti and heading back to the cold country. Even though his stay has been short, it has been great. And I really hope he returns again.
I want to thank all of my volunteers who have come down this month to help- Shannon, Aaron, Pete, Justin, Mackenzie, Starr, Dad- you have been a blast and have allowed us to accomplish so much. Thank you to Starr and Mackenzie for hosting a fundraiser to not only come down to Haiti to help us out but to also help out the families around us and the tent city. They bought enough food to give the tent city near our house a good meal and also bought one of my boys (Chrisnel) from the tent city clothes and shoes as his mother passed away and his father pays no attention to him. Every day he comes here he is wearing the same dirty clothes and shoes with holes in them. They have also bought the supplies for us to build a chicken coop, bought food for the other children we are supporting, and paid for groceries for us. I truly appreciate your hard work and generosity and for also thinking of the others we are supporting around us !!!! I am enlightened that you both are willing to reach out to the community and I know they are very grateful. Thank you to the men- Justin, Pete, Dad, Val, Aaron for your building skills and hard work. Thank you to Shannon for always taking the crying and poopy diaper babies. And thank you to all of you for helping to make our yard look a little more beautiful. As I am writing this Shannon, Aaron, Val, Justin, Pete, and Dad are at MSC Plus buying our chicken coop supplies and I have just come back from buying our first 3 live chickens !!! WOOOHOO
Looking back at my life now I have realized how all the little moments in my life have added up to this. To where I am at right now. How the things I thought would never matter in the future, actually take up the biggest part of my past. If I would have followed the crowd, if I would have done what I was "suppose" to do, look at all I'd be missing. My life isn't perfect. We have our ups and downs, we struggle, but it's not me alone, it's us- as a family. Most days I wonder how we will survive the next month let alone the next year. Each day I wake up exhausted- physically, mentally, and emotionally- whether it be from crying babies keeping me up, memories that haunt my dreams, or my own damn head over-thinking and worrying about the things I cannot control. But then my kids and those that surround me here in Haiti remind me that although life here is tough (and extremely frustrating at times), my heart is always full, and that's enough for me. That's enough to keep me going. That is all I will ever need. The rest will figure itself out. Even through the exhaustion and chaos, I constantly find myself smiling- that's gotta mean something. I am happy. I am right where I am "supposed" to be.
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