I haven't been able to sleep much since I arrived in Haiti. It is going to take some time to adjust to the heat, bugs, trucks passing by and honking, dogs fighting goats crying like babies, mangos and coconuts falling on the roof and outside my window, and the people yelling back and forth during the night. Despite being completely exhausted and covered from head to toe in bug bites, I am having the time of my life and I am loving and absorbing every minute that I get to spend laughing and cuddling with my children.
Today we decided to take another trip into Saint Marc attempting to find a gas lamp, pillows, towels, and insect repellant, but once again we had no luck. As we walked through the streets we were stopped every five feet by children or mothers begging for money or food. As soon as we handed one child some change, about ten more suddenly appeared. Everywhere we went we heard "blan, blan" referring to us being white. We felt as if the entire town knew that we were present. We decided to take a break from walking and the crowds of beggers and grabbed a drink at Hotel Gout. After regaining energy we headed back into the streets and hired two motos to bring us home. We got about halfway there when the moto drivers decided to stop in the middle of nowhere and told us to get off. Thankfully, a man that we had met at Hotel Gout happened to be passing by and picked us up and drove us the rest of the way. He was our saviour today.
This afternoon, after returning home safely, we sat down and drew up some building plans. We are going to be extending onto the orphanage and building a new kitchen as well as a place for our employees to stay. We are going to be working on this project this week after we order the supplies. After coming up with building plans we then made a list of rules for Caleb's House that the staff must abide by as they have been abusing many privilleges. We ended up accomplishing more then we had planned today as we even met with the judge and paid our rent.
The children attended church tonight for the second time today. When they returned home Christina and Elmine decided they would sneak up on Montanna and I and tickle us. This of course ended up turning into a big game with all of the children. Soon enough we were all jumping on beds, dancing, tickeling each other, and giving endless amounts of piggy backs. As the kids began to finally wind down we layed in bed with them. All of them wanted to hold our hands and they began asking me to translate words from creole to english. The older girls would burst out laughing everytime I pronounced the english words. Laughter definitely filled the room for a solid half an hour. I find that it is little moments like this that I will never forget and that fill my heart with joy and happiness. Through the many upcoming lonely days, frustrations, and down right shitty circumstances that I may encounter, they will always be my reason to keep smiling and to keep pushing on. They have the ability to turn the worst days into the best.
Tomorrow morning we are departing for Saint Marc bus station at 6am as we are taking Wendel and Norhens to Hopital Espoir in Port Au Prince to be examined as I am worried about their health. I look forward to spending the day with the boys and also seeing Doctor Gousse who I worked and lived with for a month last summer.
Most days I still find myself overwhelmed by the magnitude of need and the amount of people who need help in this country. Many days I witness the destitute, disease ridden children lining in the streets looking for food, money, or anything that anyone is willing to give them. The horror of being a child living in the streets is being experienced throughout the world. Children orphaned with no family members to care for them, children fleeing from abuse, children searching for someway to survive. They live an unimaginable life. They beg, steal, work for abusers, and prostitute themselves- whatever it takes to survive another day. Many work a full day only to afford one meal. They sleep in the streets, underbridges, in alleys, and even in garbage dumpsters. I especially witnessed this today in Saint Marc as I passed hundreds of children on the streets. It breaks my heart. I want to scoop up every one of them, take them home with me, feed and clothe them, and love them unconditionally. But I understand that I can't. Although I cannot change the world or save every orphan, I have the opportunity to change the lives of at least nine children.
Today I thought a lot about my life and why it is that I can find so much happiness and peace in a country that is known to be the poorest and most dangerous place in the world, yet, I can't seem to find this in my own country where things come easy and where I have everything that one would need. I have now realized that although this country may be "poor", it actually possesses the most valuable riches; love, courage, strength, and a will to survive. Haiti has given me inspiration and has taught me so much about life. I am not sure if I will ever be able to adjust back to life in Canada now. My home is here, my home is with these beautiful, magnificent children.
If I could tell people one thing it would be:
You only have one heart- the only way to ensure that it remains full at all times is to stay true to it. Follow it wherever it may lead you. Never second guess the heart, as it knows best. Do not wait nineteen years to realize this like I did. Realize it now. You have one life and you are the only one that can live it. Do the unthinkable, take chances, and promise me that at least once in your life you will risk everything you have to follow a dream, a passion, or even just a small tug in your heart. And I will promise you that regardless of the outcome, it will be worth it. Never look back and never regret. Move forward with each day and learn to enjoy the little things that life has to offer. Stop stressing over your future or how your life is going to turn out. Embrace the unknown and simply appreciate the fact that you are alive. But do not take that for granted, as your life could end at any moment in time. Make sure that when your life does flash before your eyes it is worth watching.
Well.. A huge spider just landed on my leg soooo that's my que to get up, scream, and squish the bloody thing. Great.. Definitely won't be sleeping now. Bon nuit zanmi's !
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