During my travels I've experienced things I couldn't possibly have prepared myself for, things I didn't even know existed. And along the way of course, I've met some incredible people - simple everyday randoms like me following their own dreams, and the occasional diamonds that have changed the course of my path forever.
What started out as a care-free dream to seek out boundless adventure in July 2009, has now morphed into a living reality with endless possibilities.
I suppose it comes back to the way I make “important” decisions. I picture myself lying on my deathbed going over my life in my head while staring at the ceiling. When I need to decide something now, I try to see it from that point of view – knowing that my life had been lived and I can dispassionately make the right call. In the same way I ask myself what memories will stand out for me? It’s not the mountains or the beaches or the delicious food or the prestige (Haitian beer) or the moto rides or going to the bathroom in a bucket. It’s not the things themselves, it’s the people I spent those times with; the men, the women, the children. It’s them I’ll remember and the places and events were merely a backdrop to that most important and easily overlooked thing in the 21st century – human contact.
I suppose it comes back to the way I make “important” decisions. I picture myself lying on my deathbed going over my life in my head while staring at the ceiling. When I need to decide something now, I try to see it from that point of view – knowing that my life had been lived and I can dispassionately make the right call. In the same way I ask myself what memories will stand out for me? It’s not the mountains or the beaches or the delicious food or the prestige (Haitian beer) or the moto rides or going to the bathroom in a bucket. It’s not the things themselves, it’s the people I spent those times with; the men, the women, the children. It’s them I’ll remember and the places and events were merely a backdrop to that most important and easily overlooked thing in the 21st century – human contact.
This decision has not been an easy one. I have sacrificed many things (and many people for that matter) that I love here in North America. And although I have had some doubts about my decision, and although it will be hard to leave, I know that in my heart I have made the right decision. I believe that at the end of our lives, our biggest regrets are going to be our "what ifs" ; not the chances we took or that decisions that we make that don't turn out the way we want them to. I have come to realize that sometimes you have to risk losing something/someone you love, in order to get what you deserve. And what all of us deserve is pure and simple happiness.
Haiti makes me happy. My most heart warming and rewarding memories have taken place in Haiti. And all I wish to do is to give back to the Haitian people what they have so generously given to me; life, purpose, and inspiration.
Haiti makes me happy. My most heart warming and rewarding memories have taken place in Haiti. And all I wish to do is to give back to the Haitian people what they have so generously given to me; life, purpose, and inspiration.
I've been on about seeing the world for years. More importantly though, I've been 'itching' to do it for years. To go off and create a new life and truly experience a new culture. When I sit and think about it - if I hadn't have traveled to Ghana in 2009, I really don't think I'd have had the same drive and determination to finally cut the strings and - just do it. I'd have just had that 'dream' in the back of my mind, as I expect a lot of people have. The problem is you can't build a reputation on what you are going to do - and as most of us know or soon will, the years really do fly by! This is my time. This is my opportunity. And if I don't take this chance and dive into this new lifestyle, regardless of how crazy it may be, I may forever regret it. The ones who love me and who understand my passion will still be here, no matter how many miles apart, no matter how many holidays or birthdays I may miss, they will still love me and be here waiting for me when I am ready to return. Or at least that is what I am hoping for.
Since my first expedition to Haiti, I've received many comments and strange looks whenever I have mentioned my intention to one day return to the country. If only they knew how totally serious I really was. I came away from Haiti blessed with an indescribable spiritual connection to it's presence that has since left me unsettled in my everyday life here in Canada. On a very subliminal level, I feel as though I left a part of me on the island. But I don't mean that as in a sense of loss - quite the opposite in fact. I've gained something intangible, something you cant buy with a stack of bills or a pocket full of change. I've gained or rather been granted an honourable opportunity to return to this country and to start a new chapter in my life. If I'm honest, I've never really felt a 'connection' to my home country (the place where I was born) and after experiencing something so powerful as Ghana and Haiti, I already know that I'll never be able to settle in life until I 'settle' where I'm connected - and that will be home. And if that means that I remain in Haiti then so be it, but even if I end up right back where I started, here in Canada, then that's fine with me as well, as long as I can feel some sort of connection and sense of belonging like I have felt in Ghana and Haiti.
Something happened to me during those first 26 days that I spent in Ghana that I'll never be able to describe in actual words. The only chance I've got of someone 'understanding' is to physically find another person who has gone through the same life-changing experience. I thank God every day that Montanna and I have crossed paths. It is remarkable that we only met a short time ago and yet we have already discovered how much we have in common. It is the greatest thing to have someone who understands your passion and who shares it with you. Someone who can relate to the things you have seen and heard. I am so glad to be sharing this journey with her as well as with the other volunteers that are planning on joining us throughout this summer! It is going to be one hell of a ride and the more the merrier !
What’s really interesting about all this is that I haven’t really gone to any great length to seek any of this out until the last few weeks. It’s all come and jumped straight in my lap. It’s all presented itself at just the right moment in just the right place, right on cue, as if by design. Although I am eager to return to Haiti to see my babies and to start all of the projects that we have planned, I am so overwhelmed right now and exhausted, and stressed, and on an emotional roller coaster. This is definitely going to be the hardest goodbye yet. But I do look forward to the next hello, as I will have so many great stories and memories to share with everyone. This is just the beginning of the rest of my life... I am unsure of where it may lead me, I am unsure of how exactly it will all unfold... but I guess the unknown is what makes it so exciting.
What’s really interesting about all this is that I haven’t really gone to any great length to seek any of this out until the last few weeks. It’s all come and jumped straight in my lap. It’s all presented itself at just the right moment in just the right place, right on cue, as if by design. Although I am eager to return to Haiti to see my babies and to start all of the projects that we have planned, I am so overwhelmed right now and exhausted, and stressed, and on an emotional roller coaster. This is definitely going to be the hardest goodbye yet. But I do look forward to the next hello, as I will have so many great stories and memories to share with everyone. This is just the beginning of the rest of my life... I am unsure of where it may lead me, I am unsure of how exactly it will all unfold... but I guess the unknown is what makes it so exciting.
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