What More Could I Ask For?

May 18th was Flag Day in Haiti. We had parades walk past our house and we all laughed and cheered for them. Although, we celebrated much more than just flag day on May 18th, we also celebrated the expansion to our family.

A man showed up at the front of the orphanage with a bag in one hand and a beautiful little girl in the other. We invited him in and we all sat on the front porch and chatted. He had traveled here from Port Au Prince, I still have no clue how he heard about our orphanage. Christine is six years old. Her mother passed away during the earthquake and her father can no longer care for her. At first we told him that we could not take her in as we had not finished the legal work for our current children. However, we could not say no. He stayed for about an hour to observe us with the children and to say goodbye to his daughter. Christine was very shy at the beginning, but that did not last long as she was laughing, playing, and being silly with our children within two hours. She is a constant chatter box and loves to come up behind us and tickle us. Although she is sweet and quite funny at times, it is obvious that she has not received much discipline and she is definitely going to be a handful, but we are more than happy to welcome her to our family.

Flag day definitely had its ups and downs. Although we opened our arms and hearts to a beautiful little girl, and we had electricity all day, of course, nothing can be perfect and we faced a few obstacles as well. Our staff was supposed to move out that day. But they refused to leave. They have told us that their new house is not finished yet so they have to stay for four more days. We had many heated arguments with them that day but we ended up allowing them to stay until Monday at the latest. Our cook continued to ask for her job back and we continued to explain to her that we cannot trust her and that she has been refusing to cook for the children. She is not a pleasant woman to argue with. It took awhile for us all too cool off and then I explained to her that we are going to continue paying for her daughters schooling and that we will give them $30 US a month to care for her as well. They seemed content with that. They finally began slowly moving things out today. We will see what Monday brings. Another downer was that our well ran out of water. We have not had water now for two days so we have had to go buy many bags of water and the children have been unable to shower. Good thing we took em to the beach today!!!!

Today has already been exhausting. We were all up and ready to go by 7am. Brandon brought with him soccer uniforms as well as soccer cleats for all of the children. We decided that we would make today a soccer day. We called them back into Brandon's room one by one and I helped them change into their new uniforms. They were so excited. Not only did the kids had uniforms, but the three of us had t-shirts with "coach" written across the back. We looked like an actual team in our new gear. Montanna and I decided that it would be much more fun if we took the kids to an actual field to play instead of the small area in front of our orphanage that is all gravel. We hired a tap tap, loaded the kids into the back, and we all took a ride down to a big field with actual nets!!! First we warmed up and then we made teams and the fun began. Brandon played goalie and Montanna and I split up and each joined a team. We played for awhile but the heat definitely got to us. We called the tap tap to return but the driver was now in Saint Marc. We had to walk home. The kids took us through back pathways and through fields filled with banana trees, goats, bulls, lizards, bridges, streams, and lots of rocks. It was definitely an interesting and very hot walk home. We decided to stop at the pastors house and take advantage of his private beach. The kids stripped out of their uniforms and ran towards the water. Montanna, Brandon, and I dove in as well. It was so refreshing. We spent a few hours splashing around and trying to teach the children to swim. When we decided to return home we were all dehydrated and sunburnt (well only the Blan's were sunburnt). To sum things up, we had a BLAST. We are all exhausted now and a few of the kids have drifted off to sleep on the front porch.

It is amazing watching our family become closer and stronger with each passing day (also bigger). These children are my life and my reason for being. I know I am where I am meant to be. I know this is what I am meant to be doing. Although my heart is full, it does not mean that I do not wish for my Canadian family to be here with me as well. There are many days that I wish I could just run through the door and give them all hugs and tell them all about my day or express my excitement about having a new child, or tell them about the funny things my kids did today. It makes it even harder when I get text messages from my Mom saying how much my little brother misses me and how sad he is. It hurts. Because I miss them too. Sometimes I find myself so busy and occupied here that I do not even have time to think about my life back in Canada. It usually hits me when I am laying in my bed and my mind finds itself reminiscing. There are many moments where something here reminds me of home and I feel that pang in my heart, the same pang that lead me here in the first place. I try not to think about it too much, as bad as it sounds, I can't, or else I find myself in tears and want to be isolated from what is going on around me, including my children. If I think about it for too long I will lose focus on what I am here to do. And that is something I cannot do.

As ironic as it is, as I was finishing the last sentence my phone rang, it was my Canadian family (my mom, step dad, and 2 little brothers). I spoke with my little brother, Liam, and his voice screamed with excitement as he told me he made the track and field team and that he also scored a goal in soccer. Its moments like this that make me miss them even more. Not being able to congratulate them or hug them for their accomplishments is definitely hard. My other little brother Dan also made the travel baseball team and I know how proud he must be, as I am just as proud or even more proud. It is also hard talking to my Mom, because there are so many days that I wish she were here to help me with my children or days that I desperately wish I could ask her for her advice when one of my babies are sick or hurt. I am still having problems sleeping at night, I have probably gotten five hours of sleep total in the past 2 nights. I have been stressed about our staff, I have been missing my loved ones back home, I have been overwhelmed with attaining the guardianship of my kids as well as overwhelmed with taking in a new child, I have been sick for the past few days, and I think cockroaches might also have something to do with my sleeping patterns. No matter how long I am here, I will NEVER get used to those things. They disgust me and scare the crap out of me!

I have just been informed this evening that my friend Seanna Mcleod is being detained in a Haitian jail for bringing a diabetic prisoner insulin. She will be in all of our prayers tonight. She has done great work in Haiti and she is a brave and courageous woman with a huge heart. Stay strong Seanna!!!

Right now, we are all hungry, and awaiting for dinner to be cooked, rice and salami. As I am sitting here, Norens is beside me banging on the lid of a container with one hand, playing on an elastic guitar with the other, and singing a song. He is the most musically talented child I have ever met. He can play the drums on anything and he is actually very impressive. He loves to sing and dance as well. I received his report card yesterday and he has all straight A's. As much as a little bugger he can be, he is very intelligent and quite entertaining at times. He has taken a lot of time to warm up to us, but this week he has definitely felt more comfortable as he now comes to me if he is hurt, grabs my hand while we are walking, and tries to play tricks on me like hiding in a dark room and jumping out at me as I walk by. I can't express enough how much I love being a mommy, it is the best feeling in the world. I find myself so protective of my kids already. I look forward to tomorrow, to next month, to next year, and to the next ten years as I know that our family will only continue to grow and become stronger.

For the longest time I kept waiting for life to get easier, more simple, and less complicated. I figured that if I waited long enough then everything would just fall into place for me. But now I have realized that maybe it doesn't get easier. Maybe you have to fight for things to "fall into place". I have realized that the struggles, the climb, the one obstacle after another... maybe that's what life is all about. I have realized that sometimes you have to be your own hero, no one else can save you, no one else can bring you happiness, only you have the power to do that for yourself. You hold your life in your hands, no one else. You've gotta chase your dreams, fight for them, do the unthinkable. Find your happiness. Because once you do.. then everything begins to "fall into place". Everything begins to feel perfect even with the struggles and obstacles. Sometimes you have to give good things up to find better things. I have finally found those "better" things. Those better things are my ten children who suffocate me with laughter, kisses, happiness, and most of all LOVE each and every day. What more could I ask for?