If Haiti has taught me anything, it is that there are some things- like civil society, like character, like a child's belief in the future- that cannot be changed overnight. Humanitarians, philanthropists, anthropologists, warriors, soliders, diplomats, and scholars all do best when we recognize the difference between what we can fight for, what we can change, and what we must simply accept, and what must be built over time, from within. I am nineteen, and I still sometimes believe that I can shape the world through service, but lately I have learned in Haiti that patience and acceptance are going to be a big part of this long journey.
This past week has been the most challenging yet. It has required more patience and acceptance than I thought I had in me. We have faced more obstacles than we could have ever imagined and even though things have been beyond stressful, we are learning and growing from each experience and each hardship. We have come to realize that we can't change everything and we can't help everyone. We have been without electricity or water for a week now. We are truly living the Haitian lifestyle. We also let our staff go, however, they refused to leave on the 18th like we had agreed on because they told us that their house is not finished being repaired yet. We agreed to let them stay until the 21st. When they finally decided to move out, Montanna and I happened to be at the beach with the kids. When we returned, we found the house empty. We now have no table, chairs, dishes, etc. This is nothing new. I expected that we would run into these problems because as bad as it sounds "this is Haiti". On top of that, Montanna and I are both sick with chest infections and possibly have parasites. Although we are exhausted, frustrated, hurt, and angry, we are managing and we are helping each other to stay positive. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger !!!! Haiti is definitely testing us, but we will not give in. We will pass these tests.
Growing up I always loved history, traveling, old music (Johnny Cash especially), and I always enjoyed interacting with people much older than myself. My entire life I had this great fear that my parents had made a terrible mistake and that I had been born at the wrong time, in the wrong era.
My second biggest fear was that I was not living a meaningful life. I had been told since pre-school that if I wanted to succeed in life that I had to graduate from a place called university. I was told over and over again that university was the place where I could pursue big dreams, it was the place where life began. So, I went to universtity. And just after a few weeks, I felt as if I had been lied to. When was I going to learn about how to live well? How to be a leader? How to make a difference? As I sat in a classroom filled with two hundred and fifty students, it disgusted me to see that everyone had a laptop on their desk, every one was wearing nice clothes, every one had big text books, everyone had unlimited access to any resources that they needed or desired. I couldn't help but to think back to my children in Ghana, my students, who were so eager to learn, but had nothing to learn from. We had no desks, no pencils, no chalkboards, no paper, no books. My children were orphans, which meant that they were consider the lowest and most devalued people in society. So with that being said, my school was given the left overs from other schools in the area. I still remember my first day of teaching and wondering how the heck I was going to teach the kids anything without the basic necessities required to teach a classroom full of young students. They stared up at me with their big beautiful brown eyes and I had nothing to offer them. It was a struggle at first, but then I realized that we learn so much more through human interactions then we do from sticking our noses in text books. Although I could not teach them all of the academics that we are taught back home, I could teach them more important lessons. I realized that I didn't need paper or pencils or desks. I had children staring at me, so desperate to gain knowledge, so intrigued by the "Obruni" standing in front of them. This is when I learned that adventure contains the best lessons in life. That the best way to learn is to immerse yourself into difficult situations and to step out of your comfort zone. I have learned the greatest lessons of all through traveling. I have learned how to live.
Right now I am surrounded by various noises- hammers pounding, kids crying, horns honking, and dogs barking. I am surrounded by chaos, yet, I find nothing but peace in my heart. I find a sense of calmness. My fear of living a meaningful life is gone. Living in Haiti is definitely a challenge. I have experienced extreme highs, and deep lows. But my life now has more meaning then ever before. I have the opportunity to improve the lives of others around me, of my children. I have the chance to open my heart completely, something that I was unable to do in Canada. Years ago, I wondered how the kids that flashed across my television screen lived, I wondered what they encountered daily, but I never could have imagined that I would one day be living among those children, let alone caring for them. The people who had once been anonymous in their suffering, are now my friends and my family.
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